To each... his/her journey...

Everyone of us goes down this path called life.... our very own journey. Like any trip that we take or make, we see different things, meet different people, even have people walk with us a part of the journey... then the things, scenery, people... either we leave them behind or they leave us. Cos we need to move on. That's what I realize today.

A momentary sense of desolation at the thought that I have to do that alone some day too...

With the heavy (it shouldn't be) cloud hanging over, as the clock ticks, yet with another who journeys with us at the verge of leaving us behind, the thought just came. It's been a week of roller coaster ride.... not quite over yet though, the waiting. But somehow, this waiting brings with it its own kind of strange comfort... the sort that makes it feel like a slow fading away from this world, gently....

When Christ took His cup of suffering, He asked God whether it could be taken from Him. Yet in the end He did what He came to do. I think many of us would like to keep going too, not have to take the that final cup of suffering. But like any trips, the journeying has to come to an end. We will have to take the final suffering life has to offer, and with it the ultimate release too.

The song.. This world is not my home, I'm just a passing through... I'm glad for the hope in heaven my faith gives unto me... that despite my ever so faltering faith.

Private... by James Patterson

This is Patterson's 3rd book which I've read this year. And so far, I'm liking what I read. He's quite a versatile writer, covering diverse topics. I particularly enjoyed his last book which brought me back to the era of the Ku Klux Klan in America.

This one brings me into the world of private investigative realm, one that comes with every imaginable high tech CSI-like gadgetry and techniques, where crooks can hijack and tap into mobile lines using rogue softwares. And of course it ends well, with the law triumphing over the smug crooks. The main character inherited the company, Private an well-known investigative firm from his father. It is elite and deals with lots of high profile clients. It keeps secrets of these clients. He also rubs shoulders with the mafias.

It's a book with 3 main plots running concurrently, Schoolgirls Killings, the NFL fixed games and the murder of Morgan's (the main character) best friend's wife. Suffice to say, all the were solved though not all had happy endings. The story packs a punch because it moves at a fast pace, definitely not one of those draggy books. And being weekend, with lots of driving and waiting duties, it was easy to finish. Been 7 months since I got my Ipod.... it has made my waiting time so bearable.

I enjoyed this one; number 34.

New Restaurant @ RKC

Royal Kedah Club Restaurant has a new operator... friend belanja us dinner last week. There're only a fortnight into their operations... and already I miss the old operator...

First the menu was only 2 pages. They say they'll be adding more soon..

Two of us had their chicken chop. Nothing spectacular about this. Despite so few patrons, service was rather slow.

Another had their fish and chip. And it came out looking like the chicken chop.You can use these pics for a spot the difference game. Chicken and fish looking alike.

I had their steak. The first bite was okay, but as I cut into the meat, it got tougher and tougher. Definitely not for those without strong teeth.

We had iced coffee to go with our meal. The waiter heard wrongly and one glass came out 'gau' (extra thick) and even after diluting, the coffee was still bitter. But they were nice enough to take it back and replace it with apple juice without extra charge.

Anyway, since we eat here quite regularly, I have no choice but to hope the menu improves as the operator settles in. For now, there are many things of the old that I miss... the salad bar and ais kacang among others. 8(

When I Grow Old...

Remember when we were kids? How we'd say when I grow up I am going to....... Well lately, this other phrase has been coming to my mind.

When I grow old...... So what comes? Crankiness forgetfulness, placidness, being easy, difficult?

If growing up was hard, I think growing old is even harder. At least growing up offers more hope. Growing old, for many, you're dealing with a dying hope, unless you have a Rock of Gibraltar kind of faith in the hope of eternity. Growing old... you become slower, you lose your usefulness, you have problems occupying your time with meaningful pursuits.... and the uncertainty of not knowing what awaits you at the end of your journey. Lights out!

I think to a great extent.... the choices and decisions of today play a role....

With your spouse, liberate each other by encouraging each other to reach your own potential. When we are young, it's easy to feel that the world is at our feet and that we can do, own and dictate everything. Life doesn't go on forever for us... I've seen husbands 'incapacitate' their wives by not encouraging them to drive or not allowing their wives to handle the finances. I've seen wives incapacitating their husbands by baby-ing them, serving them hand to mouth.... you may feel empowered then but there'll come a time when this negative empowerment only incapacitates.

Infuse your kids with faith. The fear of God is the beginning of wisdom. And when your kids marry, love their spouses like you love your own kids. Be generous to a fault with your sons or daughters-in-law and above all let them chart their own paths. Acting like a matriarch or patriarch does you no good. In letting go it might feel like you are losing them but the likelihood of gaining them back is greater too.

Treasure those little gems of friends that God sends along our way. They are our greatest assets in difficult times. The lack of blood ties that you share with them sometimes can be liberating. You get a neutral sympathetic ear and a comfortable shoulder to cry on.

As for ourselves... keep your mind sharp and your body well worked. Both require effort and discipline. You might want to give it all up and just sit back. Remaining idle... that's a sure way of losing it all too. You cripple yourself slowly too. Be flexible and continue to wonder at life... it helps to keep us going. Be proactive and don't cripple yourself with 'I cannots'... There is so much we can do for ourselves....

Life on earth.... It's a losing battle in the end but one which we've to keep going until we're done with our journeying on this earth. Just my two sen.... a culmination of my world that I see.

Sizzling Sixteen... by Janet Evanovich

I cannot for the life of it connect the title to the story. You'd expect Sizzling Sixteen to have something to do being 16 and all that... riding on the emotional instability of being sixteen and the escapades of being 16 and all that. But it was nothing of that sort! I'm still trying to connect the title to the story as I write this. This is another one of those serials...

Anyway, it's a book full of gungho-ness, the female version. Enter the world of bonds(wo)man and misadventures of the female bounty hunters, make light by the bizarre plots within the main plot. You'd think they are invincible and that bounty hunting is cool in a world that is full of wacky people. But there are many parts which are hillarious and borders ludicrous.

This is one of those books with the Italian mafia sort of setting. Guns go blazing and language is quite foul. Romance and tensions are interwoven. Ending is predictable but the sort that we're suckers for. If you like the 'Everybody Loves Raymond' kind of humour, this book something of that sort.

Still it's a nice enough read. I'm finding it hard to get books from different authors now. So to be able to enjoy this one is nice. This is number 33!

How We Incapacitate Our Students...

I never knew that so many students get biasiswa (scholarships) until I started teaching. When I was schooling, we hardly heard of our friends getting scholarships let alone bantuan kewangan (financial aid).

These days, we have so many to give from... Biasiswa Kecil Persekutuan, Biasiswa Negeri, etc, etc plus all the other aids (such as Bantuan KWAM) for those who come from poor families. The idea of financial aid to assist the needy students is a good thing but I'm seeing scholarships given without accountability these days.

Why do we give out financial aid? Is it to help the families or to make sure the kids come to school and study? Aid with no accountability? Cos we don't seem to demand that from the students. I've students who get aid up to RM800 a year and when they start to miss school, no action is taken to warn them and they miss at whims. There is also no accountability in making sure their grades are maintained. If this is not helping to create subsidy mentality, then what is? There seem to be this reluctance to withdraw the scholarships with such kind of irresponsible actions. We have a high rate of MARA loan defaulters. Ever wonder where they got the idea that they're not accountable?

Driving without license. It is an open secret that many students drive to school without a valid license. The school can do so much to educate but we make excuses for them why they should be allowed to break the law.... and we wonder why Mat Rempits are so audacious. The feeling that one is able to get a one-up with the law is imprinted at an impressionable age. I remember how at school, the school would have spot checks to check if students had a valid driving license.... and there would be actions. Those kind were affirmative actions of a different kind. It turned us into law abiding citizens....

So you see, we have affirmative actions everywhere, and they very often affirmatively incapacitates stealthily.... teaching them that it's alright to bend to suit them.

Water.. Clean Water

A week ago, my filter 'jammed' up and had to be taken away for 'servicing'. It's been so long that I actually took a look at 'unfiltered' water. And to my surprise, the water which came out from the pipe actually looked yellowish to my naked eye. Water used to look cleaner from my last memory.

We've been building more water treatment plants. Yet the water that comes out of it seems to look muddy. My ex-neighbour used to tell me that she sometimes found pieces of mud in her washing machine.

And there is also rampant fixing of pumps to increase the water pressure into their houses. Years ago, when I complained to JKR, the guy they sent told us to fix one too, despite it being against the law. So, people continue to flout the law since enforcement seems to be very inconsistent and as a result our water pressure is low. Recently, it has become worse...

Water. We privatise them. Privatization = Better Service (???) Doesn't feel like it. Service is supposed to get better.