Saya Anak Bangsa Malaysia

Taking a cue from Haris Ibrahim's initiative...

I am first and foremost a Malaysian. I've never pledged allegiance to any other country. But there have been many points in my life when I harboured intentions of migrating but those were brought on by moments and opportunities which I felt I was denied by virtue of my skin colour. But generally, this is my birthplace and so far this is where I've spent all my life.

I think my country is a blessed country. A country of sun and fertile soil. All it takes is some effort. Other Half's grandma used to say this... in Malaysia, you can throw a seed anywhere, and it will grow. She came from China, a land with 4 seasons and natural disasters. Winter months were harsh. Death induced by nature was not something rare.

Technically, I too am also a daughter-of-soil here. I was born here. My race should have nothing to do with the rights that should be accorded to a citizen of this land. Yet, my race has stood in the way of many opportunities afforded to those who say they are the sons and daughters of this soil. I've had to work doubly hard and very often pay more. I get no discount for house purchase too.

In this land, religion which is supposed to be the face of compassion has been used to divide and sow seeds of mistrust. Faith which we say guide our lives are used as tools to entrenched ourselves in the seats of power. We damned the principles of fair play and justice and replace them with skewed values; those that fit into our agendas. So it is no surprise that within that skewed values you'll find even more skewed ones like the Marina Undau plight.

Recently we had to fill in a HR form and in one of the columns we had to tick either Bumiputera or non-Bumiputera. I ticked both! I am Malaysian, no? Najib said so... 1Malaysia.. not 2Malaysia or 3Malaysia. In 1Malaysia, everyone is Malaysian. Everyone is supposed to have 1equal opportunity. But I am still hopeful that change for the better will come. I only ask for 1scale, 1yardstick, 1measure for everyone not the 2standards (sometimes 3) that we seem to be practising.

SKT...

...that's short for Sasaran Kerja Tahunan. And this is how gahmen servants are appraised. Appraisal is part and parcel of any jobs. Appraisals are important cos through it we canpick the right people to reward and identify those people with potential for greater responsibilities.

Tis the time of the year when we have to fill in the SKT forms. Throughout this later part of my teaching career we are constantly reminded that all teachers are the same... there can be nothing extraordinary from any individual (or groups of) teacher where classroom teaching is concerned. All of us are supposed to be same! Sama-sama mediocre or cemerlang, whichever way you want to interpret. Maybe the people up there think we are all like the ants... worker ants, warrior ants - semua can work and work the same way; with no brains of our own.

Our bosses never fail to remind us that to be awarded the APC one must have lots of outside involvement... (which makes up 5% of the total). That 5% is supposed to determine whether we are par excellent, not whether we are able to teach effectively, or whether most of our students do well in their exams... but how kaypoh we are in and out of the school... but if we look further I think it's lip service cos finally award goes to those favoured ones; those who 'jack'.

Being a good teacher doesn't seem to matter much these days. The business of teaching has taken on a different face, I feel. It's leaning more towards the art of hoodwinking others into believing that you have done exceptionally well when it's not so. It is also important that you learn the art of dressing up your SKT forms.... it's the content that will get you the recognition, not the actual work done. Some of us call it survival skills. And you wonder how the admin people fail to arrest that. And then realization - and it's with horrors of horrors; they got where they are now with the same modus operandi. A vicious cycle has now been perpetuated.

So mediocrity, cronyism and inefficiency; like the Chimera, a monstrous creature made up multi-animals and which has also come to represent the foolishness that we've brought upon ourselves, continue to be the hallmark of our teaching profession... at least from my standpoint.

The Minister of Education recently said that schools that perform will be awarded high performance standard...We already have so many different categorization of schools, so many awards like Sekolah Harapan, etc, etc... This latest effort seems to point to the fact that we are still trying to find a way to get ourselves out of this mediocrity pit that we've gotten ourselves into. Sinking... sinking... sinking... trying to grab hold of something....

Cocooned....

The insects and us have more in common than you think... 8) A cocoon is a protective casing that is either silk or some other similar fibrous material that is spun around the insect during the pupal stage. Pupal stage is the life stage where the insect undergoes transformation before it becomes an adult. One of the most popular example is that of a butterfly... I always think the creatures enter the cocoons quite hideous looking but come out totally transformed into something quite beautiful.

Cocooned... today I just thought of how each of us cocoon ourselves. We have many cocoons that we build for different areas in our lives. From faith to friends to work and the way we lead our lives. From home to work place to worship places such cocoons exist. Within each cocoon we adapt an even modify those set of rules and way of lives which suit us... right or wrong defined by us. I guess the clear rights and wrongs are easy to set apart. It's the gray areas... in our little cocoons we justify such things. For example, it is common belief that in order to secure a contract with the gahmen, a company has to give 'gifts' (in other words bribe) to gahmen officials. So in our cocoon we justify by saying that it is a necessary evil to do business here. Corruption legitimized....

Or for those who deem themselves religious... their little cocoons might be places where they impose harsh laws and pass them as God's. As in one email that has been circulating about how an 8-year-old Iranian boy had his hand crushed by a vehicle for stealing bread. In such cocoons, the laws are harsh because the 'faithfuls' think they are being faithful for following God's laws. I'm sure God must be aghast at how easy we forget to be compassionate.

Then there are those cocoons whom we built to insulate ourselves from the morality issues. Living together before marriage used to be frowned upon. But in our little cocoon, we justify it by saying that living together provides a testing ground for compatibility. Or even things like social drugs...

In the cocoons that we spin for ourselves, we apply practices, indulge in rituals which sometimes only serve to satisfy the order that we create. We use rituals as excuses for our saving grace... to pay penance for our wrongs and say I've paid my debts and am now good again before my Creator. In our own little cocoons we spin casings for ourselves, away from the transformation that awaits us if we break free from its walls...

Cocoons allow us to insulate ourselves from coming face to face with what should be... But if you stay too long in such cocoons... you eventually die too. The effort must come from those who cocoon themselves to break free.... we have to struggle and work to transform for if it's done any other way, it might be a very short lived thing.

Dunno why I thought of cocoons today.... ramblings, rumblings...

A Family Member Called TV

TV is undeniably part of most families in this country. It's hard to find homes without a TV these days... such is its prevalence.

TV started to make its presence felt in homes beginning from my gen. We had our first TV set while I was still in primary school and the colour TV (it was a big deal to have a colour TV back then) made its appearance in my home when dad bought a 20" Philip TV housed in a wooden case with 2 speakers by the side when I was in Std 6. It took up quite a lot of space in the hall.

The worlds of Giant Robot and Ultraman were what we waited eagerly weekly. We'd wait for 5 p.m. on those days Giant Robot was supposed to be shown. But mom never allowed us a free hand with it. TV hours were regulated... highly. It could only come on in the evening when we were kids. But by 6 p.m. when the door of the house was unlocked, we generally prefered to be out in the field beside our house to play... different seasons brought different focus - kites, tops, marbles, firecrackers, skating and games as we grew older..... On weekdays, the TV went off after the news at 8. My uneducated mom would made us listen to news in BM. Then it would be switched off. On weekends, we were allowed longer viewing hours... that was how we got our dose of P. Ramlee. We loved his shows!

As we grew older, my sis and I would occasionally sneaked out at night when we thought mom had gone to sleep to watch Peyton Place and Dallas. But we'd switch off in a hurry when we thought she was going to wake up. But as we entered into our late teens, the rules were relaxed, partly because by then we, more or less, could self-regulate. She would still nag occasionally when we 'over-watched'. But tv was something she never encouraged. Till this day, she still prefers to potter around the house than sit glued to the tv.

So how much TV does an average kid watch these days? I'd say quite a lot. I've seen parents put their toddlers in front of the box. I've seen kids who have not yet learned to walk placed in front of the box, eyes locked to the animated pictures on it. I see mothers and grandmothers with kids of all ages in tow, glued to the TV when the serials start. I've seen TV now being used as a baby sitter... The TV has evolved into a non-living family member which actually contributes something to the family... LOL!

It has come a long way; from those tubes housed in wooden boxes.. and then growing in display size to the super thin lcd/plasma screens that hang on our walls. It's gone sophisticated with all the HDD and what have you not tech jargons in tow.

But is it good? I think my mom was right... too much tv is not good for the kids. In the make believe world of TV, everyone is too perfect, even the villains. And way too much flaunting takes place... The real stuff in life becomes trivialized through the reality shows.... they focus too much on winning, too much on the rat race values.

As for me, I have a TV at home too but it sits in our room. Kids usually watch when one of us is at home. I'm trying to ensure that my kids grow up where the TV does not become their main preoccupation.....

Gender Equality

This is the age of emancipated women.. I'd rate my life better than my mom's; most definitely. Her life was better than my grandma's. Going by that logic, there has been progress. But is it real progress? ... or one of appearance cos today's women are generally successful, they are everywhere in the corporate and political world. In many parts of the world, women play roles in legislation, judiciary and executive.

What of the men? Has Man's life seen progress as well? Man the hunter, man the breadwinner, and now man in the equation called gender equality. I'd say man's life has become much better also cos in a double income family, their burden is also lessened. Now some are even able to slot in a game of golf here and there. No need to be hunting and gathering all the time. Progress also! Win-win. But let's see who 'wins' more.

The quantum of progress with reference to personal choices is definitely very apparent in women. The ability to earn has brought forth a more confident and independent woman. There's no need to depend on anyone else for her own living. A woman's voice is heard in most part of the world now, except for those still shackled by extreme religious and cultural views. Women in the ancient world were basically deemed only good enough for the kitchen or 'owned'. Back then, tales of subjugation would be the norm. But today too cultural values remain... for the Chinese, the woman marries into her husband's family and all that. I see the reason for such a practice in ancient times but it does not work that way any more.

Let's take a look at progress in terms of responsibilities. Today's woman is an emancipated woman. What has changed for the emancipated woman? For many married ones, she goes to work, brings home an income, sees to the kids, sees to the maid (if any), makes sure the house is in order, makes sure food is on the table... etc, etc. There are housewives too and many of them have a good life as some of them even have maids to ease their chores. For the lower income, many of them work too as soon their children are old enough to go to school. The demands of today's world are many!

Those who choose to remain single has a great deal of freedom. It is now acceptable to remain single. The word social stigma attached to a spinster seems to have faded into the background somewhat. In fact many are choosing to stay single.

The modern man with a working wife? He goes to work. He comes home - maybe helps out a little. But most couples I know rarely talk about the husband doing the other stuff apart from work on their job. Their world has remained basically almost the same... if not better. The single man can probably be lumped with the single women now.

But what has the emancipated woman gotten herself into? She now has to be a super juggler, juggling between work, family and house. It's a crazy schedule she keeps and on top of it, she's expected to be on par with her male counterparts at work. In the mean time, the world at home remains very much her domain. Most husbands will just close an eye to the clutter and if there is a need to get the food ready, they'll just hop into any stall or restaurant they fancy.

The way I look at it... it's a win-win for men but a win-lose for women. Just my 2 sen.

More on FaceBook

Earlier I wrote about the farming craze.... but if farming is not your cup of tea, you can always try to start a digital zoo full of exotic animals. LOL! One late night, I asked a friend how come she was still up and you know the answer?? Clearing her FB farm cos she was going to be away for 2 days... worried that the digital produce will go spoilt. The make-believe world has entered the real world. Most of the time we believe it to be harmless but I am also mindful of the Columbine shooting.

Then there's this netizen from Taiwan who is attempting to sue FB for making him pay for services he bought for his farm (on an apps called Happy Farm)... you know what he bought? Guard dogs! For his digital farm! You pay real money for non-tangible things! Why did he buy those digital dogs and then sue?

Lately I notice that there are more notifications I'm receiving on FB. I find them irritating as it clutters up my desktop with unnecessary info. FB, for me is a good way to know what's going on with my friends or have a round of good discussion on issues. Or even know what the young people are thinking. I find it a good way to keep contact. Sometimes the first signs of future trouble (and also good news) also presents itself on FB.

On FB people announce all kinds of stuff. I think for most part they're okay. Recently I told a friend happily that her uni going daughter had listed herself as being in a relationship. At uni level, that should be good news, so I thought. Guess what? She went private on her FB and my guess is I got 'booted' out for telling her mom. LOL! I'm taking this in good humour cos I now realize that there is this selective audience target thingy going on.

Now I know that was not meant for her parents' knowledge but only for her friends to note. Most parents are okay with their kids being in a relationship at college level, I imagine. That's supposed to be the normal progression. That's unless her parents have laid down strict no-no(s). Anyway, her dad thinks it's about time. Anyway too, if information is not meant for all to know, then better not announce on FB. Aiyo!

I notice too many posting pictures of themselves in all kinds of activities. It's fine to share good moments with friends. But I think many fail to take note the need to be careful about what is posted, especially the young people. Someday, when the sober years hit, you are going to wonder why you posted those pics of yourself. But then again, I always feel that if good sense refuses to prevail, then nothing like learning it the hard way.

I've had a fun time with some of the young people on FB. There was one night we chalked up 50+ posts on a single thread. Poor gal had so many notifications on her threads. While at it, joined another young friend I know in her tagging game... It was kinda funny. FB actually enabled me to fool around a bit... let me remain in touch with some of the people who come into my life.

But bear in mind also it is now very possible to build a dossier on one based on their FB activities.

FB can be a good tool.. but like everything else we must be responsible with it.

Gray Skies, Rising Waters

For the first time, I saw my work place being converted into a relief centre. Arrived at school this morning to find this... blankets, carpets hanging to dry on the raillings! Yesterday night 40+ flood evacuees made their way to our classrooms. This will be their temporary home until the flood waters recede. A whole floor had been cleared as makeshift 'home'.

A shirtless pakcik was seen walking around the school in the morning and it was rather amusing... to see impropriety co-existing side by side with strict dressing codes. LOL!

Water level has been rising and in some low lying areas, the river banks have burst. Many villages are now technically flooded. This morning as I was driving to work, I noticed that many of the areas beside the river are now inundated. And in the evening, as I drove back from town the river in town is also definitely higher than the day before. In some places it is near breaching point. Hopefully it'll subside.

In the morning, one of my colleagues said her house in the kampung was already surrounded by water the night before. At noon the water level was still rising. Places like Langgar now look like lakes. And the water continues to flow from 'upstream' unabated. It seems Hatyai is also experiencing some flooding now. The last round of a bad flood was in 2005. Then, Jitra town literally became like New Orleans as it also sits in a bowl. That year, the flood was without rain. In a matter of hours, the whole town was flooded.

Anyway, experts are warning that the worse may yet to come as the strong Siberian winds from the north are expected to blow in more rains.

This was lunch time. I feel sorry for the evacuees. The new toilets in this new block don't function properly. They broke down within the first year of operations.... speaks volumes about the quality of our construction work, especially gahmen related projects.

But this once, Sekolahku is indeed Rumahku. How can one tell? All along the stairways, I see a trail of biscuit crumbs. Small children and their trails.... LOL!

My Christmas Tree Has Shrunken!

My soon-to-be-not-so-little girl put up the Christmas tree rather early this year.. on the 4th November, to be exact. Usually it will only come up once school hols begins. And school hols is not set to start for another fortnight. And Son is not in the get-the-tree-up mood this year as he's sitting for his big exam. She was down with flu and we kept her at home, thinking it would be a good rest for her. But when I came back from work, lo and behold, the Christmas tree was all up.

She spent the whole morning putting up the tree with her aunty. I notice that this year my Christmas tree has shrunken. Cos my little girl has grown much taller. The Christmas tree has been her domain these last few years... she'd be the one all excited about taking it and all its deco out. It gives her hours of pleasure just getting the tree up!

This year, she took it out early cos she wanted her teacher to enjoy the lights with her... Shin Hui has been good for the girls. Learning has been fun for her and my neighbour's girl. They look forward to her lessons cos she made the lessons fun, almost like play. I think they'll miss the hide-n-seek games with her. It's with a tinge of sadness that I write this as she is asking for a transfer home next year. It's been a good year for the girls..... They'll miss her for sure. And me too cos this friendship from the volleyball court has extended itself into our daily lives and as a result, also been a blessing for these girls.... but I am wishing her the very best for her future.

Coming back to the tree.. it seems so much smaller this year. Last year, it looked kinda big. The year before it looked kinda huge... but this year it looks small, almost like a 'baby' tree. My baby girl is growing up and soon the growing pains of teenage years will hit. But for now, we'll enjoy her just a little bit more.... and she's been spending every night sitting (and sometimes lying) by the tree with all the house lights off and the tree lighted up. For a little kid in her little uncomplicated world, blinking Christmas lights can still be a wondrous experience.