Growing Old...

I am coming to the phase of my life where caring for my parents is something I've to think of. You know, parents were our world when we were growing up. We looked to them for everything where our security is concerned. It's hard to imagine where I'll be without mine.

Then as we sprout our wings we begin to move on into our own world, parents move into the background.... and that's when sometimes battles of wills take place. Parents will always be parents and sometimes they find it hard to let go.

These are my observations from around... A rich and titled elderly lady, living alone with her maid and driver. Her husband recently passed on. None of her children made it home for his funeral. They are all overseas! She now lives alone with her maid and driver.

Then there is this old man who makes do with the charity of his neighbours for his needs. Yet another elderly man who lives with his children but was asked to stay outside the apartment while the children went to work - so that he would not soil the house. But he has passed on.... mercifully for him??

Gone are my childhood days when parents expected to stay with their children. I talked to the father of an old friend who has settled overseas. He said with a wisp of regret that he sent his daughter overseas to study. He sees her less often than he would like. "What is the point?" he said...

Then we met up with an old friend of ours who studied in the States and I always wondered why he didn't follow suit. His answer, his family is here. It's his duty to be there for his parents. It's kinda heartening... and every CNY I hear of him faithfully taking his dad to visit his diminishing number of friends....

Living with our parents (in-laws) can be full of problems.... differences, yet without them most of us would not be where we are. And without us, old age for them is also hard.

My parents are growing old. So many things which I never once gave thought to regarding their ability to do things for themselves, I find myself seeing. I see them getting alarmed over the littlest emergencies sometimes. I see the limitations posed by the inevitable onslaught of growing old... and I sense their apprehensions. Yet living with the children is also fraught with problems... parents can be difficult too sometimes but something that we ought to bear with.

I see a friend who has faithfully cared for her aged parents. One has passed on. The other still needs full care. She has been there, faithfully seeing to their needs, giving them the best care. I think her parents are blessed. I wonder too whether I'd be able to do that. Other Half's grandma lived with my in-laws all her life.... how was that possible? She never complains. She kept herself busy with church work for as long as she could. It made it easier for everyone. Also a daughter who was ever willing to contribute financially for a maid. It took everyone's effort to make it work; those around and away!

Life... is a constant moving on till the end of our days when God calls us home. But as a parent, I think I would want my children around me as I move into my twilight years. Yet I know the choice is not mine entirely to make.... anyway this is only one facet of many. Read this here for another take on this.