Thursday, July 19, 2012

Empty Nest

Most parents today go through empty nest syndromme. Our nest isn't quite empty yet but our boy has finally taken the step into the next phase of his life. Uni life has beckoned. And in a while, he'll be his own man, independent of us. We've shared the first part of his journey. This is the intermediate... where we'll guide him less... where he'll live away, on his own and make most of the decisions for himself.

Other Half commented soon after we sent him off that our house felt a little emptier. Am thankful for our Lil One... who isn't that little anymore, come to think of it. She was really sad her bro was leaving her. Cried buckets. For the past two years, they've been roommates.... One of the things my gal kept bugging her bro in her sms to him were questions about who his roommate is. I guess in her mind, she is his roomie and she misses her bro.

We told him do his STPM instead of sending him off to college like most of his friends. Having him around for the extra 2 years was good. Bro and sis had a chance to bond in a way that might have been quite improbable had he gone off earlier. And it was also a time of healing for many misconceived perceptions and thoughts. It gave us a chance to move on, on a very pleasant footing. He'll be missed at home.

In recent years, I've seen many turmoils in many families. Kids have everything these days but it strikes me as odd that many of them feel that they don't have everything. Parents are in a rush to send their children out to study, to graduate as soon as possible, to grab as much as possible.... Parents work hard to provide for their families. And I don't blame them. Private education is expensive. And public universities are so difficult to get in if you are not a Bumiputera. The recent STPM has again shown it so. It's heartbreaking to see and hear of so many who did well but were not given courses of their choice. Some, like my boy didn't even get an offer too.... and it's not that he had not done well enough. It's just that the system is so skewed and ingrained with racism. But we had already decided long ago not to send him to a public uni.....

Empty nest... Among my own friends, many took flight and sought greener pastures elsewhere (and they were among the best and brightest lot) because of our skewed policies. They left behind empty nests and many longing hearts. As a parent, I would want very much for my kids to be near me, especially as we move along in years. But as a parent too, I too would want them to realize their potential and dreams. It's unfortunate that the country of their birth does not ensure that...

Empty nest - families should stay together or at least nearby. Many kids grow up without the benefit of family interactions; with cousins, aunties, uncles, grandparents and so on. Such interactions would have benefitted all...

2 comments:

SM Ting said...

it's so heartwarming to read of siblings that are so close. May they continue to bond closer (absence makes the heart fonder) n protect each other.

We always tell our kids to protect each other esp the boy to watch for the sis even though he is younger.

Thomas C B Chua said...

So pensive...sob..sob....sob....