Velcro parenting...

First they had this Helicopter Parenting... where parents are ever present, hovering over their children, showing extreme concern and paying real close attention to their children's experiences and problems, making all effort to shield their kids from the unpleasant experiences. Helicopter Parents often become Lawnmower Parents cos they mow down all the not nice things out of their kids life.

Fast forward 15-20 years and these Helicopter cum Lawnmower Parents have now become Velcro Parents. Because they are so involved in their children's lives; down to the every minute detail, the children's lives become their mission. I supposed it also evolves into a mission with no end. So these parents stick onto their kids like velcro. They follow their kids everywhere, clear the path for them, negotiate for them, even right up to their uni doorsteps.... basically, continue to parent them as if their kids do not have the capabilities to cope for themselves.

And the end result???? Delayed Adulthood. Everyone needs to learn from their own experiences. We've a whole generation of kids deprived of that 'learning experience'. Theirs are lives of unbelievable smoothness... most of them go through very little pains and very little responsibilities. Sheltered, their growth also become stunted, hence the delayed adulthood.

Studies show that the young adult are likely to change as many as 8 jobs before they hit the age of 30. And dig this too, they are more likely to move back to live with their parents, leech off the parents. Delayed adults seem to think that if they don't like something, they just don't continue... and since the bukit behind them is so solid, they move back to the bukit which will continue to shelter and protect them from the elements of life!

We often talk about milestones in our lives... finishing secondary school, then perhaps a university degree, a job, marriage, family... Delayed adults go through perhaps the first 2 without much hitches. It becomes tricky at Milestone 3. They don't stick around long if they don't like their jobs. Milestone 4 is not such a big deal now that cohabitation is the in thing; no strings attached. So, they don't get to Milestone 5 or if they do, it might be a very New Age kind of family.... supposedly the embodiment of responsibilities picked up from Milestone 1 to Milestone 4. Everything gets stunted cos there are too many protections, what with the helicopter and lawnmower problems pushing and mowing down every problem, every slightest bit of discomfort that their children go through. The kids go through life thinking that pa and ma will solve their problem.

Paradigm shift in 21st century parenting????