... indeed it wasn't light that awaited. It was the light from the oncoming train, not chugging, mind you, but zooming in at breakneck speed; literally knocking the breath out of me.
This qualifies as an "out of the blue" experience. Today I went to get my revamped timetable. Not suspecting anything amiss, I happily went back to the Staff Room. There, I nearly flipped when I saw my new timetable. They had taken out 3 of my Form 1 classes and replaced it with 3 Form 4 classes.... 4 months into the school year! So out goes my Kontrak Latihan, the silly Headcount, Rancangan Pengajaran Tahunan, name lists, and what other things which I may have missed out. Just like that! And on top of it, I am told to take it as a challenge. LOL!
So I did what I had to do. Saw the boss, and I am told that it's because I am more experienced. Now I don't buy such kind of excuse after being repeatedly reminded that all teachers are the same. There is a teacher available to fill the vacancy and now I am told that I am supposed to be 'better' suited to teach the students. Does that mean that I am more competent too? I am going to sound like a sour grape but I can't help it cos these days we are all supposed to be same! Never mind that this sameness goes out the window when they give out the APC every year. Or am I to understand that APC is not meant for teachers competent in their subject matter but those who excel in buttering up? Sameness!!!! LOL!!!!
Into the 5th month of the year. The school year is already midway! I know my students well enough to know which one is more likely not to do his work or corrections. I know which one is more likely to be disruptive or sleep in class. The students also know what I expect of them. There is a rapport now which is supposed to help in my teaching and their learning. And now they have to get used to another teacher and I have to get used to another set of students; all in the middle of the year! Disruption! Whose welfare are they actually watching out for? I feel it's definitely not mine or the students for that matter.
Musyawarah? These days the style of management is more of you-do-as-I-say. Many bosses these days pandai cakap but cannot buat their own cakap..... read as cannot walk their talk. And because they want it easy, things are more likely done with strokes of pen than actual real ground work. Ground work requires real effort. Abuses are common.... by the heads and the people assigned to do the heads' biddings. It's easier to just take the easiest path so that you can continue to eat your bowl of whatever in peace (in the office).... Ever wonder why many people grow fat in their jobs these days? They don't cover the grounds themselves.
Comments given by well meaning colleagues.... it shouldn't be a problem for you, take it as a challenge, never mind, etc, etc..... Yeah! The change is not a problem for me. I am competent enough to handle any level and basically I can also choose not to care, hence never mind. But the thing is, I did care. I cared that I have to start midway when it can be avoided. I think it's not good for the students, to have to adapt to another teacher. Everyone has their own style and they need time to adjust too. Instead of upsetting one group, we're now doing it to 2 sets of students. I mind that I won't know my new sets of students well enough to identify them by name, cos now I have to start all over again, at a time when I am supposed to be preoccupied by other more pressing needs that come at this time of the year. I mind that students don't do enough written work.... and I am bothered that my time has to be wasted redoing all the mundane stuff again. I mind that my bosses don't care two hoots that I have to feel flustered with the already silly paperwork. And it could have been avoided had they taken the trouble and sit down to discuss with us... collectively!
The way this is done? It tells me my bosses don't care about my input. That they twist and turn their words to their convenience, that they don't really care about the students either, whatever is done, it's more to facilitate their own programs. It also tells me there is no passion in our work. If you care and are passionate about something, you will say something when it is taken from you. I just learned that many don't feel anything.... they don't care. I've also learned that many people can say 'kesian' many times, but those are more mere than real. Kesians are actually excuses to be incompetent.
And what else? I'll survive this headlong crash. Bosses and tunnels? I just learned too that bosses are the trains and not the light.... LOL!!!