For you girls about about to embark into life...and you guys too.

Many of us dream of being whisked away by our knight in the shining armour...the dream guy comes along and sweeps us off our feet. Finding the right partner is perhaps one of the best things in life...there is this saying, a good marriage is the nearest thing to heaven on this side of the world. But it also has its opposite evil twin, a bad marriage is the nearest thing to hell too.

Girls, watch out for these pitfalls. A guy may come along and whisked you away. Love is a wonderful feeling...but what kind of guy should you look for? What about these????

1. I will take care of you vs I will allow you to develop to your full potential
2. You are my world vs let's explore our worlds
3. I will change for you vs I will change for myself - (is that selfish?)

A relationship that is good would be one that is not exclusive. You know, when you start a relationship, you want to spend all the time you can with each other. Very often your world becomes just that...just the two of you. The outside world becomes a blur. That may be fine in at the start. But that sort of relationship will stifle you in the end. You will lose yourself if left unchecked..independence, personal growth, etc. You should strive to have a relationship that is inclusive of the people in your lives. We need people, people need us.

Watch out for guys who want to monitor your every move, be in every one of your activity....the overly possessive ones. At the end of the day, these will the same guys who will blame you for things that may go wrong in their lives. Many of us hear this often..."I cannot live without you." There're very few who can live up to that...History will tell you that....I think it's more common for widowers to marry than widows. Watch out for these guys who hold you at emotional ransom. More often, the girls being more compassionate will feel sorry for the guys. Repeatingly giving in to such 'blackmails' will cause you to lose yourself

"....say, you're in a relationship...finds it is not going anywhere....you want to call it off and both are still studying. He doesn't want to let you go...so he pleads with you, says he will change...you relent...the relationship continues...after some time...still cannot...you try to call it off again...he says he can't study without you...then you relent...it continues...the drama repeats itself...more arguments...he does badly...blames it on you...you feel bad...the final relent...you marry him. So does it end here? This is a relationship of 'I want'. Now that he has you...will things change? He believes so...but his style is already entrenched...the pattern continues......" Girls, what are you left holding now? A lifetime of emotional blackmail??? I don't have the answer to this question.

Love is a very powerful emotion. But it is also just one step away from possessiveness which because of its negativity will bring out destruction. True love (1 Cor 13:4-8)...does not envy, does not boast, is not rude, not self-seeking, not easily angered, keeps no record of wrong, does not delight in evil but delights in truth, always protects, always trusts, always hope, always perseveres, DOES NOT FAIL.

Though I may title this to you girls, it can also work vice versa. Take note...life is too short to be consumed by such things.
Think of life as a terminal illness, because if you do, you will live it with joy and passion, as it ought to be lived. ANNA QUINDLEN in A Short Guide to a Happy Life