Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Rounding Up...

2010 ends in a couple of days. For me, that's another chapter done!

This blog... It has served as a record of sorts of my ramblings, activities, the people come in (and gone out) of my life, changes, thoughts. I look back and would ooh and aahh over some of those ramblings. It is a good reminder. Sometimes my memory tends to fail me. And reading through jolts those gray cells a bit.

Friends... they are integral in our lives. But they come in and out of our lives. Still, our lives are the richer for them too. Anyway, saying goodbye is something everyone of us has to do also. When this life is over here, we have to say goodbye (like it or not) and move on. I went through housekeeping on my mobile phone a few weeks back... I've deleted a lot of numbers not used, people who have moved out of my life and also added new numbers. But we've FB too.

Family... ties get broken sometimes but it can be mended if all are willing. Keeping a family together requires effort but something worth it. Takes 2 'to tango' though too.

Children are ours as a trust. Each year adds a year to them and brings them closer to leaving us. They grow up and go away. The search for opportunities tears families apart. Has been and still is a reason. But one thing I observe, parents pine for their children and wish for their children to be nearer them, especially in their frail years. I see many lonely parents now. Many let their children go in search of a better future because they love them but many children also 'forget' their parents.

Parents... we once looked to them as everything. But they grow old. They become forgetful, sometimes even childlike in their behaviour. Where once we tested the limits of their patients, the role begins to reverse. Where once they cared for us, the task now falls in our hands. Parents grow old... that's a sad part. One day, we go down this path too.

Work... 2011 beckons. I was sitting down with a few men friends one night. I've been rather laid back in my ambitions, I realized. One reason is family, the other being the lopsided system that I am in. But God has also been good to me. In those moments I've felt like giving up, He has always been kind and generous to me. And I've yet to feel wanting. I realized this after talking to my friends; about friends who have been made Guru Cemerlang. I did not apply. Anyway, I've gone through 2 schemes in my years of service, the SSB and SSM. God blessed me once in the former and twice in the latter scheme! And the last 2 came at times when I had wanted to give up. I don't know what is in store for the coming year. Probably there'll be many frustrations but I'll just have to take it one at a time.

Faith... there have been many moments of doubting. But I observe this. It's usually the little things done by others to us (or vice versa) that cause cynicism to creep in. I often find myself having to dig deep to resist the urge to walk away from it all. In these last few years, the term little Napolean is often used. Well, little Napoleans are everywhere... even in the House of God. Cronyism too... it's everywhere. And the reason is simple. We're fallen creatures. Only by grace (through faith) are we saved, and not by our works. Cos if we go just by works, it would all crumble so easily. The first offense from those little things would crumble them all!

Growing old... This is perhaps the most difficult thing we have to do. As we come to the end of our journey, as our earthly body begins to fail us, it bares us to this tug-a-wars of pride vs humility, pessimism vs optimism, despair vs hope, the questions about eternity... It makes some of us go into that hopeless search for that little bit of youth left in us and sometimes we lose it all because we fail to remain dignified.

So what is new in all these?? Nothing actually! What is has already been, and what will be has been before... says the Philosopher. It's just that for each of us, everything is a new learning experience... if only we can have the knowledge to make us wiser in our own journey.

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